


Drowning

by magicathstewart (avidfangirllife)



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Hospitals, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avidfangirllife/pseuds/magicathstewart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon gets in a bad accident and Baz doesn't handle it all that well. Luckily for him, he's got a great friend to help him get through it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Here is an extremely late make up gift for the @snowbazvalentines gift exchange that you probably don’t even care about anymore!
> 
> To those of you who asked for this, I am really so terribly sorry that it took forever. I’ve had a hell of a few months and things are only just starting to settle down. I love you all and I hope you like this and don’t hate me. xoxo

Baz was drowning.

He tried to breathe in, but no air reached his lungs. He could hear the sound of sirens wailing behind him as if from deep below the surface, water clogging his ears. Reflections of red and blue lights danced across the walls in front of him as he rushed through the doors. He shook his head slightly, trying to clear it, but there was nothing to clear.

The waiting room was fairly empty. His steps stuttered as he quickly made his way over to the desk where sat a woman in pale blue scrubs with some intricate pink design.

“Snow. Simon Snow,” Baz spat at the woman as she looked up to meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry, sir. Can I help you?” she asked, patient. Clearly she did not understand this was an emergency.

“I’m looking for Simon Snow,” Baz tried again. He could barely hear his own words as they raced through his lips. His vision began to blur and he reached up to wipe his eyes, hands coming away wet. _When did he start crying?_ “He - he came in on an ambulance. I don’t know what happened. I got a call to come and I just - I need to know where he is. Snow. Simon Snow. Please.” His voice became hysterical, but he choked back the sobs threatening to break through, biting down hard.

The woman gave him a soft smile - as if a smile would be comforting at a time like this. Her fingers moved quickly across the keys as she typed what he hoped was Simon’s name into the computer. After one final hard _click_ , she looked back up at him.

“It looks like they rushed him into surgery.” Baz’s knees buckled under him and he gripped the desk to hold himself up. _Oh God, no._ “I can call back and have a doctor come out and speak to you. Why don’t you take a seat over there.” She gestured to the seating area behind him.

Baz focused hard on two things: breathing and walking. He moved one foot forward and took a breath in. Another step. He exhaled. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. Slowly he lowered himself into a seat in an empty corner and pulled out his phone. His vision still blurring, head spinning, Baz dialed the only number he could think of.

“Penny. It’s Simon…”

 

* * *

 

When Penny arrived at the hospital, Baz was still seated in an empty corner of the waiting room, waiting. His head was resting against the wall next to him as he focused on getting enough air to his lungs to keep him conscious. He could still feel the warm tears running endless paths down his cheeks but he had long since given up trying to stop them or even wipe them away. His only focus was breathing. _In. Out. In. Out._

When Penelope touched his shoulder, he started. It took him a moment to slow his heart rate down again before he could take her appearance in properly: her red hair piled in a frizzy bun atop her head, one of Baz's sweatshirts she no doubt grabbed from somewhere he left it lying around in the apartment she shares with Simon, and the black leggings she reserves for quiet days in. Even her purple glasses, slightly askew on her nose, showed her haste in getting to the emergency room. They were stuck up in her hair on one side. She was probably asleep on the couch when Baz called her and in the rush didn't even take the time to straighten her glasses.

The tightness in his heart lessened slightly at the sight of her. She wasn't just here for Simon. She was here for him. They could get through this together.

Penelope sat down on the couch-wide seat against the wall Baz’s head had been leaning against only moments earlier. She sat on the edge so her legs were pressed up against his and took both of his hands in one of hers. Her other hand came up to wipe some of his tears away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

“Baz. It's going to be okay,” she said in the most soothing voice he figured she could manage under the circumstances.

“You don't know that,” he whispered back, voice cracking. His throat burned from crying.

“Here, take this.” Penelope held out a mostly empty water bottle to him. It was mostly crushed too. “I found it on the floor of my car, but I figured you could use it.”

Baz tried to force a chuckle, but it came out mostly sounding like a sigh. He took the bottle and let the stale water soothe his throat.

“Thanks,” he managed with slightly more control.

Penelope just nodded. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I- I don't know. I just- I got a call and I came and they don’t know.” Baz choked out before the sobs finally overtook him.

Penny pulled him to her seat by the hands she was still holding and forced him to lay down with his head in her lap. Her hands worked methodically through his hair, soothing his scalp. Her sympathetic murmurs were broken up by intermittent sniffling.

Eventually Baz managed to stifle the sobs and the tears ran out. Despite his best efforts, his eyes slid shut and the waves of exhaustion crashed over him, pulling him under into sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Baz regained enough consciousness when Penelope shifted out from under him to see her walk over to the front desk, but was sleeping again by the time she had made her way back to pillow his head atop her legs once again.

It was a fitful trip into unconsciousness, void of any true comfort. He was still aware of everything happening, simply too exhausted to think or move or keep his eyes open.

 

* * *

 

Eventually, Baz was shaken awake by Penelope.

“Doctor’s here,” she whispered down into his ear.

He stood up, muscles protesting his every move, but he forced himself to walk over to where the doctor stood. Penelope held one of his hands tightly in hers as they made their way over together.

Through the fog of anxiety and exhaustion, Baz couldn't make out everything the doctor said, only holding onto a few key words. “Surgery was a success...few complications...lucky...unconscious...in the clear.” Penelope helped him hold onto them with a slight tightening of her hand on his at each one.

“Can I - _we_ \- see him now?” Baz asked, eyes focusing on the double doors behind the doctor.

“Immediate family only until he's out of the ICU.”

Baz’s knees buckled, but Penelope gripped his hand tighter and he managed to hold himself up.

“ _We're the only family he's got._ ” Baz's voice bordered on hysteria.

It was true. The three of them were a family. And while they weren't Baz and Penelope's _only_ family, they were the only one that really mattered. Especially when it came to Simon. The two of them would do anything for that boy.

Penelope leaned in close to Baz and asked him to go sit down again. “It's okay. Just give me one minute.” She forced him to meet her gaze. He could see the steel force in her eyes and trusted her enough to go sit down out of earshot.

Less than two minutes later, Penelope was grabbing his hand and leading them both through the doors, following the doctor to Simon's room.

 

* * *

 

 

 _He’s alive. He’s alive. He’s alive._ Baz repeated to himself silently. That was the only way he was going to survive this - with Simon alive and okay.

His hand hovered above Simon, looking for somewhere safe to touch. Somewhere that still looked like Simon. He settled on the boy’s free hand, resting his palm gently atop Simon’s fingers.

Simon’s other arm was in a sling across his chest which also housed tight bandaging. There were bruises and scratches scattered across his cheeks, lips, and forehead, and one leg was suspended in the air. He didn’t look _good_ , but he looked _alive_ and that’s all Baz needed.

_He’s alive. He’s alive._

Penelope cleared her throat slightly across the room and when Baz looked up, her cheeks were red and lined with tears.

“He just looks so helpless,” Penelope whispered, moving closer to Baz.

“He’s alive,” Baz responded, aloud this time.

Penelope pulled up a chair right next to Baz’s. He lifted his arm so she could lean into him, fitting her head on his shoulder. He tipped his down to rest on top of hers.

“He’s alive,” Penelope repeated.

 

* * *

 

 

When Simon awoke, Penelope was asleep on Baz’s shoulder. Baz had no intention of sleeping again in the near future. At least not until Simon woke up and he knew his boyfriend was really okay.

Simon’s hand turned over and gently squeezed Baz’s.

“Baz,” Simon managed at barely a whisper.

“You’re okay. It’s okay.”

“Here. Please,” his voice was so soft and desperate. Baz knew what he was asking for.

He looked Simon up and down slowly, making sure he could fit himself somewhere without causing any pain or discomfort. Luckily most of the damage seemed to be contained to one side, so Baz pulled himself up on the bed after shifting Penelope’s head off his shoulder. Their bodies barely touched, but it was enough.

He carefully ran his fingers through Simon’s hair until his eyes were closed again.

“We're right here, Simon. I’m right here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave me a comment here or send me a message on [tumblr](http://magicathstewart.tumblr.com/). It always makes my day! ❤


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